is what -- has been doing out to get sympathy from me? e constant rantings on stress and frustration... i realli dno.. i took all of it as an act of trust at 1st... but come to think of it.. i doubt things are so simple rite... but i dun want to create a misunderstanding... im afraid... is everything -- has done jux to get attentn? -confused-

nthg much to post bout these dayx...know i shldnt b coming online so often but haix.. cant resist e temptation... sch really bz these dayx... tests piling up on me...chem test suck man... ponning ballet so frequently that i lost count...

nutcracker aud tmr.. gd luck to all those that r going... really hope u guys will get in! =)

feel kinda relieved after e 2 tests today but haix.. there's still chem test nxt wk.. dun wanna tink about e tests anymore.. tink i totally flunked both today.. my brain cant seem to work.. especially during chinese... e 1st section of e close passage.. read e 1st sentence for like 5 times before it really gt into my brain... its probably due to e environment.. doing a test in the lt for e 1st time.. but i doubt it realli makes much difference in e clsroom n e lt rite? haix..wads happening to me...

struggling with geog essay now... cant seem to link all my sentences together... nothg seems to b making much sense right now... argghhh.. keep getting distracted...

im changing...but i dno y or how...

i want to isolate myself from e rest... i wanna b alone... for once...

drifting apart

we are drifting apart...can i have the old u back??



-love-
only brings pain to one



mayb i shld resort to being a nun

emotion

m i just being too emotional or wad?.. everytime when i think of it happening... my heart gets filled with emotion... sthg that i cant control or prevent

u

open house

went to sch v early today to prepare for the open house.. hahax.. was quite fun.. had morning and aftrnoon shift at e cs booth but spent most of e time in ctr in e morning preparing for e feizhong perfmance... hahax.. quite cool la..did quite alot of mistakes for e 1st prfmance but e 2nd was much better i tink...hehe.. den aftr that we changed n went down to "spread propagande" to e visitors... hahax.. we watched e qingchun video! ahahx.. n walked arnd to look at e other booths... ahahx.. tink e dhp part is kinda cool.. with e student-made mtvs and our wrks!! hahahx.. yup... MOST of e pple are quite nice la.. e parents are friendly... acty all were ok... EXCEPT for 1 batch of primary sch students frm ---... wadehell...dey were damn rude can.. wad cheena n crapx... walao.. did that right in frnt of our faces summore.. think dey v cool huh...as if!! walao.. dat was e only ting that pissed me off la.. crapx.. den packed up n left sch at about 6?ya.. went hm lo.. spposed to go for ballet at 6 but haix.. too tired and no mood la... late anyway.. n pointe?? nahhh

talked to joy in my dads car on e way hm... wad she said was true.. she didnt know things are getting so serious.. so did i... i thot it was probably jux her way of reacting and her mindset thats all.. but come to think of it.. she really is getting thinner... much thinner than last time.. haix... we can try to talk but how useful can it be? during lunch i almost bie1 si3... why?? why must this happen? u can say that im angry or irritated..but i tink i am more of disappointed n upset.. we've seen this happening to seniors but now.. its her...one who is that clse to us... wad can we do to help???im desperate..she is that close to us and e tings she keep away frm us... i wonder how much more..we r spposed to trust one another rite?...

things are changing.. i can feel it.. gd things just cant last.. y is life this unfair once again? still thot this yr was a better yr compared to e last... with a smaller cls n less friendship problems...but yet..



thanx for being there for me when i need u... sry for e fact that at times when u need me... i jux cant b there for u... may our friendship last... no matter what others say

all these drawn by me 1 ok..ahahx.. loves dance!
wudao...my heart my soul
i dream for miracles to occur

hehex..jux kinda bored so did some of these photos!darren shld like this alot huh..ahahx..cs rocks!
3k'o5...rainbow!

sick of it

lemme tell u...im sick of it... im sick of u always telling me that u r fat.. sick of u looking at ur thighs n arms all of a sudden and saying e fats r sagging and stuff... im sick of u going arnd staring at food saying so nice! i want! n yet in e end nt buying anything... im sick of all these tok about who's fat n who's not...pls... stop it! its not that we dont believe that u eat... we believe u... but e problem is that e way u r reacting towards food.. not eating a certain kind of food cux its fattening... wads wrong with having fats.. its not like u will die e nxt day or like not being able to dance at all... its ur thinking.. lemme tell u... if u continue being like this.. u will bcome anorexic... even tho u wun know u r... u will think that wad u are doing is right or say normal... but in actual fact u r going on a diet without knowing bout it... stop it.. pls... im begging u... u are NOT FAT!!believe me...

tmr

im going for wudao tmr...hope it will b good... hope i wun be shunted to one side for being the lousiest or being totally ignored by wls...

i going for ballet tmr too... hope it will be fruitful... hope i would be able to work well after nt going for cls for such a long time... hope ms lee wouldnt b angry cux i hadnt been to cls for so long... hope i wun b left aside because im e worse... hope i wun b ignored because my standard is like rubbish compared to the rest

tltm wk tmr... hope i wun spend my time at hm slacking... hope i would b able to finish my wrk by fri!??!... hope i would b able to learn sthg on my own...

having lunch with jm dey all tmr... hope i wun have to listen to tauntings bout diets... i've gotten enough of that

i'm getting pissed off...get it...

1 wk

haven been for cls for one week already...haix.. bet i deproved like tons.. dun exactly feel like going back tho.. nxt wk e learning.. hopefully i would b able to find more time to go for cls nxt wk...

lazy

gahh..v lazy to update...only feel like reading other pples blog..hahax..


miss dance.. damn ankle...


cant stop eating

omg..

im still in a state of shock...




i SPRAINED MY ANKLE!! sighx... how pro can i get... my right foot is already weak enough and i bet spraining it will make it even more sickled and i cant possibly dance for like 1 wk at least???!! haix... still planned to go for ballet tmr... n theres wudao tmr... guess i will have to sit down n rot... sighx...





what.is.love.
i dun tink i uds

sinking

im sinking down... deeper n deeper... into the unknown world... a world too old for me?

i wonder wad stress can actually do to pple... today cux me bro v anxious bout his proj... bcux his grp members sorta like pushed all e work to him... he gt v stressed n words jux sprouted out of his mouth...unclean words... to my parents... when i get v stressed at times.. i will jux stuff myself with food without even thinking of e consequences... some pple becux of stress would resort to anything to achieve success... wad is stress turning us into?? where is our real personality?

everything is piling up on me... and im on e losing side

today

went back to sch today early in e morning.. to clear huisuo... we were v efficient!ahahx...finished clearing in like 3 hrs?!?ahahax...yay... we rawk! den aftr dat went to kfc to eat... NOT funny k pple..ahahx.. yupx.. den went home

slpt for like 3 hrs b4 going to ballet... they went www today.. i cudnt go bcux of clearing of huisuo but nvm la... they all bcame v red!!ahahx..did inter.. n kel came for cls today...phoeb didnt tho... guess shes v tired...miss ya gal!!didnt feel like i worked much today... nt in e mood... didnt feel like dancing when we gt to centre already... or mayb at e end of barre... blame e inter syllabus for being so long...gahhh

dun feel like going to sch tmr leh... still feel like its e hols... i cant wait for e nxt hols to come!! wahhh... hate sch man... sighx.. rather b at hm doing elearning... n there better b elearning for us this yr!!hahax... at least can slack at hm...sighx

today

quite a cool day today... morning first 5 periods still had lessons but pretty slack la.. den e sch is so nice.. gave every1 a stick of ice cream... every1 as in e whole sch lo.. so cool... snickers brand if im nt wrong.. its nt cheap 1 ok...lol... den had dunmanian idol!! -- is so shuai!! wahhh..i know i may sound a bit despo lidat... but hahax.. thats wad an idol is for rite.. li ke won.. sorta expected i guess...his voice is gd.. jux that i dun really like his attitude...

aftr sch went out for lunch with jiamin jeanine joy... wenta pp den swensens for lunch...ahahx..a bit fattening but ah wells.. who cares man..den jm left 1st n we went to mph for a while.. guess who i saw there? ms lee!! ahahx.. gt quite of a shock...den we wenta rent a movie -hot chicks!- to jeans house to watch...ahahx.. damn cooll... fun!! love ya guys loads!!