decided

i have made up my mind long ago... im not gonna take adv found...

my fault

mayb it is my fault that im feeling so stressed n so lousy.... mayb i shldnt have such high expectations of myself... mayb i shldnt compare myself to pple whom are obviously better than me... mayb i shld nt even look at those super pro pple n wish that i can b like them... ya... mayb this will make me feel better... i shld jux concentrate on maintaining my standard.... gahhhx.... im gonna break down v soon....



watched e syf video...felt bad...went for class today...felt bad.... thot bout chem test next week... felt worse... thot ballet would cheer me up...gahhx... didnt wrk.... felt v v bad... oh manx... hate this feeling of stress....



yet im still online...slacking... wad e hell is e prob with me...

its over!

yay!!!everything's over!! not only for my grp...but for all e grps!!! whee!!....ahahx.. we need not worry bout grade exams anymore!!! ahahx..i was damn happy when i finished marzurka on wed...ahahx..grinning like an idiot...thot it was fun running in n out...ahahx...its so much better than e other grades where u have to stay inside the exam room e whole time!! wahhh...i wanna take g8 again!!!....jkjk...choi...

went to support phoeb's grp today...wahhh..dey all did v well...e examiner said well done!! i mean...ya... it is really v rare for this examiner to say a good lo...ahahx... den aftr dat we wenta swensens!! wahhh... ate so much... n thankx belle...for e treat!! thank ur mum for us!! hugs...

hmm....i noe now is e time to stay happy... for e fact that all e exams are over... n we need not take anymore grades exams...but come to tink of it... i realli like grades alot...its more dancey... not like majors where everyting is so technical...sighx... we are going to be separated... some may stop permanently or temporary.... some may be preparing for ele or adv found... sighx... we will all b going separate ways... sighx... looking at kelly's grp... i feel very sad sometimes... no offence... they were all so united... yet now... i hardly see them all together... cux most have stopped coming for clses... our cls will b lidat too... i dun want this to happen.... i noe we can still keep in touch... but things wun b e same anymore... can all of us take g8 again...? i realli miss e times we had together.... grade 8s'05.... i LOVE U!!

belle's blog

jux read belle's blog n saw ame's msg....realised how much i missed her...hmm...miss her dancing esp!! sighx...cant wait for 3 mths to pass n amelia to return... wahhh

wahhhhhh

its tmr!!! wad m i gonna do!! can i stop e time now... so that i will not feel so stressed???waahhh... i'm so damn scared!!! wad happens if i go in n fall down...wad if my scarf gets tangled up?? wad if i land so loudly during valtz? oh man...it's tmr!!! i cant believe time passes so fast!! i still rmb when i was comforting myself to say e exam was still a mth away!


i dun care.. im jux gonna walk out of sch like nobody's business tmr... i dun even noe if mr ken submitted e letter for me...gahhx...who cares...will settle everyting when i return....e most imptant ting is e exam!!! argghhhh....

wahhh

wahh...ballet exam is in like 2 days....i dun care... im nt gonna run for pe tmr...im jux gonna get my parents to write a letter... i nt gonna risk spraining my ankle... i dun care wad siva will do to me...blehx....



2 days....freaking

weird

felt realli weird during wudao today... everyone seemed so... cheerful...as though nthg had happened...as though there was no syf n no results...no1 sad over e results... hmm... when dey played e syf music over e radio... bad memories of e results day flooded my mind... n my heart was filled with emotion... because i reallli miss it... i wanna dance it again... hmm.. come to tink of it... seriously.. there is no use brooding over it.. wad is done cnt b undone... we can learn from past mistakes but not brood over them... wad joy said is rite...(thankx gal!!:]).. wad will wudao actually become if everyone sit down there n cry just because we didnt do as well as we hoped to during syf...we should get over it... its only a competition... there will b many others...



MI is finally over...wow...its super stressful n tiring...last night i stayed up till bout 3am just to finish e proj...its nt that we did not manage our time well... its just that e proj needs lots of time to be completed ... wonder what we will actually get after putting in so much effort...hmm... but tink its gd... im nt toking bout marks or anyting...but i think through tis MI i really gt to know my clsmates... those in my grp much better... n all of them are actually v nice!! ahahx...whee...



4 more days....cant wait for it to b over n done with...

thanx ya..

[yifang...
thanx for everything... love ya so much... thanx for doing so much for us... ur scoldings doing syf practice... ur pep talks... wahh... u have really done and sacrificed alot for us... i really have loads to thank you about but currently... my mind is blank...
no matter what we gt... may it be gold or gwh... it doesnt matter anymore... i have thought thru it...yes...we are all disappointed... but... there's really nthg we can do about it anymore... and brooding over it will not make the results better... we know how much u have done for us... and we are really greatful... i know when syf was nearing... how much pressure u were facing... u were always on e verge of tears... but u were strong... u nv shed a tear in front of us... thankx alot ya... i simply have too much to tell u...]



thought alot about it..was trying to put up a happy face throughout today... but my heart still felt... weird... but come to tink about it... we have done our best... yes... love ya wudao!!!



MI week is driving me nuts... sooner or later... my eyebags will b big enough to cover my face...



6 more days

life suckx

why is life always so unfair?? why is it always so disappointing...??? aftr so many mths of hard wrk... this is wad we get... im nt saying that a gold is nt good... but ... e seniors who watched us tol us that we were much better than e rest!! wasnt expecting much b4 but aftr they said this ... our hopes really went up... gold with honours... b4 e results came out today... i was at hm praying... i really expected gwh... tinking of wad i would do if we realli gt gwh...scream? shout? laugh? sighx.... but when dora msged me e results... i was shocked... ok... at 1st... no reaction.. calmed myself down by saying gold is good enough... den jm called... all e anguish n sorrow in my heart came spurting out... i couldnt take it anymore...



[msg to jiamin joy n jeanine:
hmm..think seriously there's no use brooding over it le... i realli expected gold with honours too... i jux dun believe we are so much worse than them... dun be too sad ya.. there's nthg we can do about it... i tink i know how u all r feeling now ba... life is unfair...n unpredictable... we cant get everyting we want in life... hmm... as long as we did our best... we shldnt b too sad... we have each other still ya...]



[msg to wudao:
its ok... we did our best... anyway its over... we cant do anyting about it now... well done...i dun really have much to say but... let's accept it... happily]




im starting to lose faith in everyting...sighx...when i met with e nt coping with sch wrk problem... i took a long time to get over that stress... aftr yf toked to me... aftr dat is e stress about e upcoming syf... n now.. e results... really expected to do much better.... guess i have completely no faith 4 ballet exam now...sighx... cant wait 4 it to b over...

7 days to go...

syf over!!

wahhh...aftr how many mths or even a yr of hard work...everyting is over!! just so fast!!!.... wahhh...e results will b out tmr...but no matter wad we get.. im sure all of us had done our best... n we will b happy with e results... wahhh.. was quite scared when e dance 1st started... almost fell down 4rm shimin but i chen1-ed zhu4...ahahax..wheee...n no 1 fell!!!...yay!!!..ahahx...den danced like dere was no tmr...staring at e judge..ahahx...hoping to dian4 him..ahahx..yay... so happy its all over...whee.. so damn happy... can fly over e moon... ahahx... now left with ballet exam.. aftr dat... wahhhh... i'll b free!! ahahx....




wudao...
we rawk!!!
yayyy!!

time

time simply passes so fast...
syf is like in 1 day's time!!
oh manx..
if only our wish of getting gold with honours will come true
wahhhh
same with ballet exam...
soon the number of days less will b less than 10..
gahhhx..
im seriously freaking out..
mayb nt so much 4 syf but 4 ballet..
wahhh....








we are drifting apart
i can feel it...
why is this happening?
does that mean so much to u...
to the extent that u will do such a thing?

thanx!!!!

wahhh ... just read yifang's blog...really so touched!!! wahhh.... thanks so much ya...!!!! i will jiayou de!!! hugs !!! love ya lots ger!!

pissed

wad e... wad's her prob... ok.. lemme start with wad happened today... presentation.. it was damn obvious that she didnt do anyting den in e end her partner had to get scolded for choosing e wrong article n she had this horribly bs face while e tcher was in e cls... walao.. its like.. she shld b happy that her partner didnt tell e tcher that she didnt do anyting lo... partner backed up for her summore... i mean.. ya.. its already v nice.. if it was me i would have left her speechless when e tcher asked if she did anyting... gahhx... ya.. n for our chem.. sighx... i realy have nthg to say... i mean.. how can she like nt care at all?!? its like 60-70 marks of e CA lo... n its really alot... if she dun care about herself...wad bout e rest of e pple in her grp?.. but as usual... life is nv fair... sighx.. pple like us have to take like ages to learn a new math topic... but she... naturally smart i guess.. no tuition... no elder siblings and she can actually learn e new topic n do almost all e qns by looking at e ws e tcher provides... seriously... i mean wad e... life's unfair....

i dun care if u read this...


syf= 6 more days
ballet= 15 more days
wahhh...

hmmx..

ok...wudao wasnt dat bad today...ahahx...thanks jm 4 ur tag!! love ya lotx!...hahahx... hmm... 8 more days..since today is already over... prac quite alot of times...but wls left early and we practised ourselves...sighx...

aftr wudao when waiting for parents to fetch... sat with yf at foyer n talked about life...wahh... thanx ya!! hmmx.. wad she said was really true... sec 3 life is really very different from sec 2 life n e stress is really alot more... u hav to b more independent and u cnt rely too much on ur tchers... i seriously won't b surprised if i end up like 24/25 in cls tis semester but its ok rite...ahahx... im prepared for it and if i really get a position like this... i guess i will just have to accept it... i mean ya.. wad can i do lo.. sneak into e staff room n change e results? impossible ritex..ahahx.. ya... n e only thing i can do is to work harder for e nxt sem...hmmx.. but seriously.. i shldnt care so much bout my results ritex... wads imptant.. or wads e purpose of going to sch is to learn new things so i guess as long as i am pleased with e knowledge i gained... it will b enough... ahahx.. positive attitude!! hmmx... thanx ya gal!! hugs!!

tink im going for summer sch if im nt wrong...

syf= 8 days
ballet exam= 17 days
wahh...im feeling e stress

scared

im scared ... seriously... im really dreading tmr's wudao... im realli very scared she will pick on me again... n syf is so near... if she starts scolding me again... i will obviously be discouraged ritex... sighx... actually im already losing interest in wudao... sighx.. dno how to get e passion back... y mux these things always happen to me when sthg imptant is nearing?.. sighx... lucky my love for ballet is still here or im seriously dead... sighx... damn... if only i could stop e clock this moment... and fast forward it to tmr evening... so i need not go to sch.. n face wudao n wls... if only i could...

i really dun uds e purpose of scolding lorx... i mean... ya... we are not small kids anymore... we do not need to be scolded in order to be corrected... will just telling us nicely hurt any1?... wad e hell... i dun wanna go tmr!!!... may b i will b sick... mayb a dengue mosquito will sting me tonight... or may b i will b stuck to my bed tmr morning... sighx... den i wouldnt need to go... sighxx.... dreading

waiting

wahh..why is she taking so long...weilin's supposed to come to my house today to do our bio...sighx.. still waiting.. looks like by the time she reaches... i would needa leave for ballet..ahahax.. how pro...


syf in like 1 week and 3 days?!?!..so fast!! cant wait for it to be over but i jux dont want it to come so soon...i seriously wonder what will actually happen if we do not even get a gold...sighx...okok ... think positive.. we will get a gold.. with honour!! ahahx... but still... dreading tmr's wudao... dunno why but i simply like lost interest in wudao... sighx... wls is really pushing us ... n i miss e times without syf when we can actually dance for fun...


no sch today because of speech day... ahahx..so cool ritex... but i felt very weird e whole day ... as though there was sch but i m ponning lidat... hahax... dun care la... was supposed to finish as much hw as i can today... but as usual... ended up slacking sleeping n eating tons...ahahx.. my usual routine...

better go down n see if weilin is here...